Hello and welcome to this pod episode 11. I'm your host D
Mitas. Our first story for this episode is the quest giver by
Joe ProSet. Joe ProSet write sci fi, horror and psycho fiction.
He has been previously published in Chatwood magazine, the no
sleep podcast and athletic realm magazine. He lives with his wife
and kids in the Brainerd Lakes area of northern Minnesota. If
you're an adept stalker, and you can find him at one of the many
lakes and rivers or lost deep inside the Great North Woods, or
you can just find them on the internet at Joe proz.com or on
Twitter at Joe ProSet. Helping me tell this tale we have a full
cast, starting with Elijah Moore, an actor based out of
Chapel Hill, North Carolina he can currently be seen on CW is
legacies. He likes puzzles long walks on the beach and treating
podcast BIOS as his own personal dating site. Mandy Wong, a Japan
based voice actor who specializes in character voice
work. She loves collaborating with creatives to help bring
their stories to life. We're not behind the mic, she can be found
with her nose in a novel going on a foodie travel adventure or
fawning over fluffy bees. You can also hear her as Melissa
inside fictions casual magics Michael Blakey, voice actor,
musician, human, he writes songs and brings messages to life with
his voice, and Missouri boy who wants the people the world to
just be nicer to each other. Angelo Toledo a 20 Something
voice actor undergoing college for the second time, he's also
the author of a poetry book titled binding blindness. Lila
metus. My daughter and co host of me this media is new show Fun
Fact Friday, coming soon to a podcatcher near you. And last
but not least, we have XMRV Chris, all of our actors and
authors links will be in the show notes without further ado,
the quest giver by Joe ProSet.
It's dangerous to go alone. Take this. The kid and he was just a
kid, too young to be called a man looked funny had the long
steel blade resting in my open poems. What is it? Now the head
for smart's this one? He had an unblemished face and youthful
beauty. All his days spent maturing and none aging. Oh yes,
he was going to need a weapon where he was going. The Last
Blade handcrafted by Master swordsmith Masamune at his forge
high atop the mountains of mist careful. Its honed to a razor's
edge in case the monsters have thick hides thick hides.
Listen, mister, I'm not hacking at anybody when those sword
so petulant, so certain of his purpose in the world, or rather,
lack thereof. Apparently, I needed to speak more slowly. You
clearly don't have a handle on the situation in which you find
yourself. I said. It's dangerous to go alone.
Nah, no, thanks, man. I think you're dangerous.
He said Well stepping away. When he had backed far enough to bump
into the glass door of the pawn shop. He smirked later weirdo
and then pushed open the door slipped out and was gone. Yes.
I'll be seeing you again shortly. When the boy left the
pawn shop fell quiet once again. Ambient Music blinked on Twain
from invisible speakers only audible when everything else was
not. I sighed and slipped the sword rack under the counter.
He'd be back. May came here to hock car stereos and buy used
guitars that would make them stars and their dreams but in
reality would sit unpracticed in the corners of their rooms. They
came in with petty desires and unmotivated dreams but left with
so much more. I have to admit when the phone rang, It startled
me, if only for a moment. Only after I answered that I realize
how boring this conversation would be. Merrill how good to
hear from you. I said after recognizing His voice. He droned
on with his usual complaints and threats never changing his tune
this one. Of course you're always welcome in my humble
place of business come down any time. His voice continued even
as I pulled the receiver away from my ear and didn't stop
until I set it back in his cradle. Merrill believed nothing
in life was more important than his rules and regulations. My
time was best spent on other things. And speaking of the
front doors, electric chime, Bing Bing Bong, and another
character entered the pawn shop. This one was a girl, big hair,
vapid smile short skirt, a suit coat with big shoulder pads. She
strolled to the center of the pawn shop like a models runway.
She stopped in the middle of all of the used electronics and old
romance novels tossed her hair and winked at me. I nodded back.
She showed no reaction. A few seconds later, she tossed her
hair again, flipping it back with her fingers and followed it
with another wing. A non player character, cliched, but on cue.
And just as timely, another unwitting hero appeared to the
front door. This one also a girl but not so designed and
polished. This one more soaked in her own idiosyncrasies her
hair undone shoes untied eyes she kept to herself and cast
downward whenever not stealing glances sideways. She wore
enough black to be a villain, but I knew better. She moved to
a selection of old DSL cameras and lenses. The non player
character did her best just show the new girl how well she could
flip her hair and wink. The girl by the cameras didn't notice.
But when the three oversized brutes shoved their way through
the door, their crunching footsteps drowning out the Bing
Bong Bell. The girl by the cameras looked up. Perhaps she
had potential after all. The three brutes ignored her and
moved to the winker and hair flipper. One quick uppercut to
the gut and she crumbled over. The mute brute caught her before
she had a chance to fall to the linoleum. He slung her over his
wide muscular shoulders like a sack of potatoes. And once they
had her, the three about phased and stretch it back out the door
having not said a word. The girl by the cameras her eyes wide and
alert now stabbed out from under the overhanging bangs. Her back
pressed against the shelves, Jesus Christ. She said as soon
as the non player characters were gone. Quick. They've taken
the mayor's daughter. I said to her, the girl said to me,
aren't you going to call the cops
after them? They have the mayor's daughter, I said,
emoting as much as I could
forget that old man and calling the cops and getting the hell
out of here, she said,
dug out her cell phone and fled to the exit. I watched her go
out the door and check up and down the sidewalk. She took a
step in the opposite direction of the brutes and kidnapped
girl, then doubled back and broke into a sprint after them.
The boy who would go alone to dangerous places, nearly knocked
into her as he came back into the pawn shop. His face was
pale, his eyes electric, how much he hurried me how much for
the sword, as if the weapon had never left my hands. I raised my
palms above the counter and displayed masa moons last work
of art to the boy. It's dangerous to go alone. Take
this. Yeah, you said it.
How much?
No charge, but do not dawdle adventure awaits. I told him,
and this time he listened. The boy snatched the blade and held
it aloft for just one frozen moment. From the measure of
still time, the steel emitted an unearthly gleam, and sung like a
tight violin string. When the moment had passed, he looked
only slightly more bewildered than he had been when he first
returned to the shop. But he didn't let that second of
sentience betrayal distract him. He brought the hilt of the
weapon down to his solar plexus. Thanks, old man, the boy said
and rushed out the door. Another satisfied customer. He was
barely out the door when Merrill entered. Merrill, the
bureaucrat, tall plain faced dull hair, and somehow boring
and featureless black trench coat and dark sunglasses and
appear Since that was almost a non appearance, a man you only
thought you saw. He approached the counter with confidence in
the smirk that crawled under my skin. Hello Merrill. Behind him,
the door being bombed and another unknowing adventure came
closer to his destiny. A teenage boy. Not from the city. flannel
and jeans long uncombed hair.
Hello, adore rich. Up to your old tricks again. I
see Merrill said tricks what tricks I asked behind Merrill a
TV popped to life right in front of the Biff landlord youth, his
eyes locked on the screen. In an instant he forgot whatever
trivialities had occupied his life before this fateful moment.
The entire width of the 42 inch monitor was consumed by the
image of sky Admiral Angus cloud cleaver.
Red alert, Red Alert, the evil dinky crowds have invaded the
galactic colonies, all pilots that are starfighter. This means
you
just outside the bounds of light came down and shown on a plastic
quarter operated amusement ride molded in the shape of a rocket
ship. What tricks mineral turned from the boy in his Starfighter
to me?
Come on at all rich. Do we really have to play this game?
My eyes were still in the boy whose eyes were flashing between
the ride the TV and the two of us at the counter. The TV was
looping its message over and over again now. short blasts of
static between each of the sky admirals alerts when I caught
the boy's eyes, chin in the direction of the amusement ride,
encouraging him on. They all needed an extra push from time
to time.
A door edge,
Merrill, we both know that I'm too old to change my ways. I've
been around this globe for too long. I'm not like these brave
hearted souls that come to me. They're just beginning their
journeys that will shape and develop them me. I've had my
Ark. I've fixed my beliefs.
Stop. You've been warned. reprimanded fined and
sanctioned. The next step is to shut you down and bring you in.
Is that what you want?
blather rings I've heard it all before and none of it interested
me. My eyes were still in the boy and waited for his decision.
When I saw his confusion, beat out his curiosity and drive his
feet through the door and away from the quarter operated
amusement ride. My shoulder slouched inside Why are you here
Meryl?
Haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I'm here to shut
you down a doll rich. I promised the council that come here and
find you abiding by the terms of your probation that you learned
your lesson that you only issue about adventure by the approved
means. books, movies, stories planted inside their minds by
hypnotic suggestion. You know how the rest of us do it. But
here you are quest giving again like a bearded old wizard they
need it was all I said all I felt I needed to say
it's dangerous a doll rich. There's a boy out there swinging
a katana at ravenous monsters in the street. Right outside your
store.
I leaned an ear towards the front of the shop. Of course
there was the quiet ambient sounds of guitars, guitars and
shamisen playing peaceful in the store but now that he mentioned
it I did hear the distant sounds of screams of growling beast
clanging of steel in the wind police sirens in the distance a
shrug? Someone had to kill those monsters
$1 Rich there were no monsters until you issued them out. Just
like there were no kidnap mayor's daughters and no
invading Zika cones until you created them. You're causing all
this and a lot of people are noticing
sometimes I create evil for them to defeat sometimes I send them
against pre existing evil so what I shrugged
So what So last time I brought you in you signed an affidavit
specifically stating you'd stop creating real life dangers for
susceptible frail humans like these wonders and vagabonds come
strolling through your door. Fiction adore rich. You signed
the affidavit swearing you were going to stick with fiction. And
now I come here to see this nonsense. And there's no way I
can hide this. No way I can cover it up or brushed under the
rug. You he stopped. What?
I held up a finger long and thin of flesh but thick of knuckle.
What is that supposed to mean? It means nothing but I have to
correct You the term you're looking for is heroes.
Heroes. When did I ever say anything about
susceptible, frail humans? Wonders, vagabonds, that's what
you called them. But the term you're looking for, is here
rows. Behind Merrill's back, the young man in the flannel crept
back into view. Just outside the glass storefront, he on the
left, the quarter operated Starfighter on the right. Ever
so slowly, he stepped closer to the fighter.
And what happens when one of your heroes gets killed?
I didn't mean to roll my eyes. It was just this was so
tiresome. I give them extra lives Merrill. Frustrated, he
tried another attack from another front.
They didn't ask for you to interfere in the life they had.
They come in the shop to look for a cheap deal to make a few
quick bucks to waste time to sift through the debris of other
safe terrestrial lives. Not to be sent on some wild goose chase
by a crazed old man
and you approve of that sort of life. I took my eyes off the
youth outside and fix them on marrow of common lives lived
commonly of time wasted looking for cheap deals or swapping
stolen goods for worthless paper money. If that's what you'd like
for yourself, I have all the money you can carry. I popped
open the register and began shoveling Dollars and Euros and
pesos and denarii and yen out onto the counter. Here. Take it
if this is what our lives amount to I should consider mind
fulfilled. And you should consider yourself lucky to have
come in today.
Quit that adore rich. Quit. Quit this money.
Merrill shoved all the bills mounting on the counter. I kept
shoveling some of it spilled over onto the floor some of it
he managed to grab and
throw back at me stop this insanity right now.
I slammed my fist through the money and against the display
case. Before my fist met glass every scrap of money vanished
from the floor to counter to register and pushing by currency
the glass cracked my eyes locked on Merrill's this world has been
without true adventurers for too long and you know it. It is
decaying their souls they lumber about with no mission or purpose
without pride or perspective. They are gorged with money and
wealth and peace and pacified by poor electronic simulations. But
they have never tasted the one food that will truly make them
whole the meal that will feed their spirits and banish the
likes of you back from whence you came. They have never tasted
true adventure.
And they never will. Not while I'm here. There's a cost to the
product you sell. And it's got nothing to do with money. Pain,
misery, destruction, loss of life. You call them out of the
norm like the crooked pawnbroker you pretend to be. You think
you're so noble but look around. You think it's all a fast Sade.
But this is exactly who you are. An old man hocking broken goods
to broken people.
So leave me be I enjoy being this old man Hawking these old
ideas of danger and far off destinations. If I'm an obsolete
relic of time long forgotten, then forget me. Leave me to the
waistband of legend.
And what about this,
Meryl half turned and stretched a poem out to the youth of the
Starfighter, the boy climbed inside. And as he did, the craft
grew around him. A poly Carbon Alloy airframe unsheath around
the plastic molding of the child's ride. A canopy
highlighted with laser green electronic readout slide over
his head and sealed him inside. He strapped into the flight
harness and began flicking switches like he was born to
fight the Ziqi Crohns thrusters fired and rumbled to life
against the sidewalk. Launch in t minus five.
What am I supposed to do about this?
Nothing for we're clear of the blast area free but I would
avert your eyes to the ion thrusters are rather bright one.
Smoke consumed the star fighter a moment before it punched
spaceward and out of the atmosphere in On supernova
bright flash, we were left deafened by the roar and blinded
by the blaze. The exhaust cloud choked to the entire street and
blocked any view beyond the shop windows.
That's it. It's alright, that's the last straw. Merrill pointed
a finger at me. We've known each other for a long time, and I've
given you more than ample opportunity to change your ways.
But you've worn out my patience. I'm taking you in the
cloud outside the shop was slow to dissipate. It hung there like
a thick fog in through it. For short, humanoid shapes began to
take form. Okay, I'll go quietly. I said to Meryl stuck
out both wrists ready to be cuffed. But before we go, answer
me this. Do you really think I'm the only one who still has a
taste for pitfalls and perilous journeys, for heroism? For
adventure? Do you really think I'm the last quest giver?
Don't be so proud of yourself. Your kind are a dime a dozen.
Merrill said and went about fishing handcuffs out of his
back pocket. He slapped one cuff on to a wrist. And who do you
think us quest givers sin our adventurers out to protect?
Don't you think we have each other's backs? Who Merrill down
here on this terrestrial plane as your back the pawn shop door
being inbound Merrill turned. The cloud had been enough to
show us for young human silhouettes and the familiar
outline of BMX bikes leaning against the windows. As the
first boy entered smoke from the ion thrusters rolled in with him
and his crew. Another boy followed he with a flashlight
and bandana tied around his head. The third member was a
girl with a ponytail and a slingshot at arm's length. The
fourth held an ancient time yellowed map.
Yes, sure this is the right place.
The first boy said.
I'm sure the mat leads right here.
The last answered his eyes never leaving the sand colored sheet
of parchment to the lair of the man in black flashlight boy said
slingshot girls stepped around him and pulled the rubber bands
of her weapon taught.
We've come a long ways for you Meryl. We're gonna send you back
from whence you came
down to see Merrill. I smiled at him. I just send out the call to
adventure. They're the ones who answered
our second story the new God comes to us from lol Asher lol
Asher lives in Dallas, Georgia and works in quality assurance
at a large blood donation manufacturer. lol is a member of
Sigma Tau Delta and has published short stories with
money Zimba House Publishing bewildering stories cast about
art and literature the Raven Chronicles, Blue Moon rising
things in the wall Fantasia divining publishing bending
genres writers club and the Signet ll has a bachelor's
degree in psychology and is currently working on a second
degree in English with a concentration in writing.
Helping me tell this tale or Nicole Good night voice actor
Narrator forever locked away the no sleep podcast dungeon. She
does speed runs of The Lion King for Super Nintendo and Genesis
over on Twitch, Mandy Wong who was also in our first story.
Thanks Mandy for pulling double duty on this episode Phaedra
metus my amazing wife of 16 years and we've never had a
fight without further ado, the new God by L L Asher.
Not today mom Octavia isn't
well Antonia said into the phone as she bounced her crying
daughter
constipated.
I think tinting worships important, dear. It's not just
12 Gods anymore.
My mother's voice said through Antonia's earpiece. You need to
praise all 85 of them. Baby Octavia needs all their
blessings.
There's 97 now and don't worry, I downloaded the worship now app
and sacrifice lamps for about half this week. My paycheck will
have to clear before I can afford sacrifice anymore.
She turned on the TV setting her groaning baby on the floor. Her
phone buzzed and she glanced at the notifications
blessings received vanguard of health six blessings received
from God of love three.
Welcome to Channel Two Roman news
reporter said from the television, sitting next to a
man four times her size, he held a great platter, his skin
glittering and casting golden light across the reporter's
face.
I'm here with the newest Roman god Raha thanks so much for
joining us.
God flicked the grape into the air and caught it in his mouth.
Antonius phone buzzed with another notification.
New God added. Mr. Rohit, if I may ask. We've seen quite an
influx of Gods over the past few decades. How does one become a
god? And how is it decided what you'll be God
lifted an eyebrow? If none of the others told you he erupted
into a roaring fit of laughter shit. He slapped his thigh
laughing harder. The reporter looked at the camera with a half
smile. You know what? I don't give a shit. I'll tell you.
Where Martians Antonia dropped her phone. Yeah, he nodded dead
ones. When we die. We become the gods of the other worlds.
Actual Martians from Mars.
dead aliens yet baru. He popped another grave. Wait. Antonia
leaned forward, squinting at the screen. Those are prunes. We're
going through a mass extinction. Hence the influx.
But Mars is void of life.
The reporter said she looked off camera and mouth, right? It's a
time continuum thing. Humans are too stupid to understand. But
really the Olympus Mons on Mars the peak of the solar system, he
tapped the top of the reporter's head with his glimmering index
finger. We live on Mount Olympus connect the dots. The reporter
glanced at her notes.
Let's move on. How does the divine power work?
Raha clear his throat? The way we died? contributes the
reporter's face contorted.
So you
died and boop Yes. drowned in it an unforeseen sewage mishap.
Rojas eyes drifted quite painful. Antonia grimaced, then
looked at Octavia screaming red face. She picked up her phone
and click the notification.
real hot god of fecal excrement added to list of Roman gods
would you like to send a sacrifice?
Octavia screamed her face turning purple Antonia selected
to sacrifice a pig and then tap Submit. rihards eyes snapped to
the screen. Octavia giggled, and a stench plume around Antonia as
her daughter's diaper filled with squishy heat.
As mentioned earlier, meet US media has a new show coming
soon. Fun Fact Friday is the brainchild of my child. Lila
wanted to make a show where we tell fun facts about various
topics and discuss them there will be an accompanying blog and
new episodes will be released each Friday starting Friday, May
22 2020 Our theme music comes to us from odd Sprite, you can
catch more of their work at odd sprite.com If you're interested
in supporting the show, just head over to me this pod.com and
click the donations link. All money goes to making the show
better. Me this pod is released under a Creative Commons
Attribution non commercial no derivatives license. That means
you can share it all you like just don't change it or sell it.
We'll see you next time folks. Have a good one.