1 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:09,000 Hello and welcome to meet as pod episode nine. Well, folks, we 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,940 are back. I had to put the show on the back burner for a while 3 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:15,270 while I trained for a new day job. But now that I'm settling 4 00:00:15,270 --> 00:00:18,450 into that, and getting back to a somewhat normal schedule, I got 5 00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:21,900 the podcasting itch again. Plus, I have all these great stories 6 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:25,260 burning all on my Google Drive. These stories need to be heard. 7 00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:28,800 So let's get to it. Our first story comes to us from AF 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,510 Grabbin AF grap and resides in Tennessee but not on purpose. He 9 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,180 spends his days either dealing with words and stories or 10 00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:38,820 preparing for the zombie apocalypse he doubts will ever 11 00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:43,260 actually come. AF is an avid wearer of shoes, not creating 12 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,470 characters to torture. He is the host and producer of the melting 13 00:00:46,470 --> 00:00:50,850 podcast or writing variety show. The melting podcast is similar 14 00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,250 to meet his pod. And if you like fiction and the craft of 15 00:00:53,250 --> 00:00:56,400 writing, you should check it out. They have sent over a promo 16 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,430 for us to play. Stay tuned after our second story to hear it. 17 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:03,090 Links will be in the show notes. I'll be narrating for you 18 00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:06,630 tonight. Without further ado, here's our first story. 19 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:22,500 I didn't brew it by AF Grabbin. It shouldn't have had bubbles. 20 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,870 That was the main problem. It was one of the more cryptic 21 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:31,500 things that had happened in the lab that day, which was saying 22 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:39,480 something. So I demonstrated it. Pot and all and defund 23 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:45,570 straighted to throw out the window. Yes, fine. I could have 24 00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:51,300 just said I threw it out the window. But no, I'm not just 25 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:54,540 trying to sound smart. No, I'm not trying to insult your 26 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:58,410 intelligence Peacekeeper, I'm answering your first question. 27 00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:03,930 Look, if I'd have known the URL of Steve Austin was passing by, 28 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,500 I wouldn't have thrown it. But those bubbles were frightening 29 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:13,830 me a little. I've never had a potion react that way. I know, 30 00:02:13,980 --> 00:02:18,030 not all potions bubble. That's a common misconception put out by 31 00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:24,240 the Yes. The people out to obliterate the fantastic. Poof. 32 00:02:24,630 --> 00:02:28,560 They call themselves which is silly. If you asked me if they 33 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,650 want to destroy sorcerers they shouldn't emulate us by using 34 00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:38,970 that silly acronym. No peacekeeper. I didn't. It was 35 00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:42,360 four measures of black assault, not 14 Whoever took that 36 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:51,870 statement must have misheard me. Yes. Well, sometimes but no, I 37 00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:55,680 hadn't realized, though. Come to think of it. I had heard the 38 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:59,640 Earl of ski Euston was a founding member. Is he the one 39 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,880 who was offering rewards for the sorcerer's heads on pikes peak? 40 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:08,850 Ah, well, that makes sense. Like I told the other man before I 41 00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:12,390 panic, I had already thrown the bubbling concoction out the 42 00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,940 window and gone back to reattempt the brewing when I 43 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:19,200 heard the scream. By the time I heard it, I already had the new 44 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,900 mini cauldron in my hands and we're starting the process over 45 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:25,650 again. The peppermint oil and Griffin skin flakes had just 46 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:30,450 begun to warm up. I had to stir it constantly, you see, and I 47 00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:33,000 thought that might have been where I entered and the first 48 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,870 batch. So when I heard the scream I went to look but I kept 49 00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:41,160 the cauldron with me so I could stir while I looked. And when I 50 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,740 reached the window to look down and see what the cause of the 51 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:47,340 commotion was, I slipped and the new cauldron tumbled out of my 52 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,450 hands. The Earl hadn't moved from beneath the window and in 53 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:55,830 fact he was looking up when the new concoction hit him spilled 54 00:03:55,830 --> 00:04:01,350 everywhere from what I could see. Yes, I know Griffon skin 55 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,530 flakes are highly corrosive. I hadn't realized that eat through 56 00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:09,000 such thick wool that quickly though. In seconds I noticed the 57 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:14,190 URL was naked, his clothes eaten completely away. And right as 58 00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:20,400 the Queen's entourage passed by to horrible timing. Lucky for 59 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,490 him one of the soldier escorts offered his cloak to cover the 60 00:04:23,490 --> 00:04:27,660 URL. I couldn't hear what they said. But the URLs face was 61 00:04:27,660 --> 00:04:34,410 awfully read by them. No, I had no idea who was allergic to 62 00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:42,780 peppermint. Oh, so he is dead than not from allergies I trust 63 00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:47,010 I'm sure I can't think of why else you would be here 64 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:50,100 questioning me. I thought you were a customer when you came 65 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:54,510 knocking. Sure there's the threat of poof putting me out of 66 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:58,110 a job but I don't hold a grudge against the Earl himself. Not 67 00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:01,890 really. He's a bit of a Rutan but he's always been civil to 68 00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:08,550 me. I just don't do magic while he's around. Ah, so it wasn't 69 00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:15,390 allergies. Spontaneous combustion, you don't say. And 70 00:05:15,390 --> 00:05:18,420 the court physician says it was because of some mystical 71 00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:22,350 chemical reaction. Did he say what he thought it might have 72 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:30,420 been? Really? Salt and toadstool tears. I heard they produced a 73 00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:34,110 violent reaction, but I had no idea. Well, perhaps I did have a 74 00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:38,850 little bit of an idea. Although I've heard black salt makes more 75 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:43,860 fire while green salt is more smoky. Of course, I have a 76 00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:48,000 supply of toadstool tears. I'm not an amateur. And before you 77 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,650 ask no, the potion didn't have toadstool tears in it. But it 78 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:56,670 would take at least five measures of black salt to create 79 00:05:56,670 --> 00:06:02,640 an explosion like that. My first potion only had four. No, I 80 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,700 already told you the first Peacekeeper misheard me there 81 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:10,110 weren't 14 measures of black salt in it. Only four. 82 00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:14,970 And I don't think he wrote down the last thing I did either. He 83 00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:17,670 didn't seem particularly gifted in the mental area. I was 84 00:06:17,670 --> 00:06:24,300 shocked. He was able to write it all honestly. Fine, fine. Yes. I 85 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,810 suppose the fact he was covered and my black salt could have led 86 00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:32,430 to the combustion end. And yes, it was my peppermint oil that 87 00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:36,840 caused the allergic reaction. But do you really think I threw 88 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:42,390 that third cauldron of toadstool tears on him on purpose? Yes. 89 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:48,540 Oh, and do you think I tossed an extra measure of black salt into 90 00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:57,360 that cauldron on purpose do I see? Okay, then. Yes, I'll go 91 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:58,050 quietly. 92 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:06,900 Our next story paying the tab which originally appeared in 93 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:10,470 daily science fiction in July 2011 comes to us from a fan 94 00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:14,730 favorite Brian K. Lo. You remember Brian from episode five 95 00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:17,130 of me this pot when we aired a full cast production of his 96 00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:21,390 story dead guy walking. Brian has had published stories and 97 00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:24,570 Orson Scott Card's intergalactic medicine show, daily science 98 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:28,500 fiction, Buzzy mag and more. Check out his work The Invisible 99 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:31,800 city, a swashbuckling adventure of Earth's distant future, 100 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:36,660 available now on amazon.com and other major platforms. He blogs 101 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:40,710 at Brian K low.wordpress.com. The links in the show notes. 102 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:45,240 I'll also be narrating this tale. Here's our second story 103 00:07:51,570 --> 00:08:00,180 paying the tab by Brian K Lo. I guess it's true than Santos. All 104 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:05,250 things come to he who waits. I sniffed and wrapped a claw like 105 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:09,150 hand around my glass and took a healthy sip. It burned going 106 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:13,110 down and I inhaled and surprise. But they didn't say I'd have to 107 00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:17,100 wait this long. I replied. I've been trying to kill you for 108 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:20,730 almost 45 years. I was having trouble catching my breath 109 00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:25,320 better than you're used to? He asked, ignoring my comment. 110 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,550 There was a sense of affection and irony in his question, but I 111 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:33,240 suppose he could afford it. You're not drinking. His glass 112 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,930 was still full. His drink was blue over yellow with a little 113 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:40,380 umbrella in it. Most guys will be too self conscious to order 114 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:43,800 it but apparently not Bernard. it jives with what I knew of 115 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:48,390 him. He toyed with the glass. I was just remembering. We've had 116 00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:52,260 a lot of good times. A lot of adventures. Only the fact my 117 00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:55,350 fingers could barely grip kept me from smashing the glass in my 118 00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:59,250 hand. You probably remember them better than I do. I said in a 119 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:03,600 controlled tone. 45 years might as well be 45 months to you. 120 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:07,680 Bernard nodded. True. I was running circles around hunters 121 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,070 when you were a baby in your mother's arms. Look at us now. 122 00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:14,820 You're an old man whose fingers can't even hold a gun and I have 123 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:20,730 an age today. I glanced sideways at him speculating what? What's 124 00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:25,290 on your mind? I thought I might as well ask him. I wasn't going 125 00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:28,320 to get another chance. I had no illusions that he wasn't going 126 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,700 to kill me before that was over. Is it worth it? The wolf bite 127 00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:37,320 the curse. The turning into a beast every month. I turned to 128 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,100 face him at on. The bartender who looked near retirement age 129 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:44,370 himself refilled my drink automatically while distancing 130 00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:48,330 himself with professional indifference. Is mortality worth 131 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:51,840 all the people you've killed? Rather than answer he drained 132 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,200 his drink and signal for another. I was already fuzzy 133 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,750 around the edges but he could go at it until closing time and 134 00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:01,650 feel nothing. He was silent. For a long time until his new drink 135 00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:05,490 was sat down in front of him, it's what I do. It's not like I 136 00:10:05,490 --> 00:10:09,870 have a choice. They call it a curse for a reason. I snorted. 137 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,740 Don't give me that. Don't bullshit an old man. You love 138 00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:18,210 the chase. It's all a game do you used to hang around the same 139 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:21,810 town until somebody like me came looking for you? Then you either 140 00:10:21,810 --> 00:10:26,280 leave your kill where we could find it or line wait for us. You 141 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,640 can blame the curves for what you did on a full moon, but not 142 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,660 for all the others. Bernard shrugged. We are what we are 143 00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:37,890 about you. You and I have been dancing around each other for 144 00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:41,040 almost half a century. But this is the first time we've ever 145 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,580 laid eyes on each other, let alone tucked. Where are you in 146 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:48,540 this business? My wife was killed by werewolf in San 147 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:52,860 Francisco in 1962. It was surprising how easily the words 148 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:58,350 came now. I lived in San Francisco in 1962. The way he 149 00:10:58,350 --> 00:11:00,780 said it, you might almost believe he thought it was a 150 00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:04,140 coincidence. So why did you put out the word meet me here old 151 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:10,140 man. You know how dangerous it is? My drink was gone. I raised 152 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:13,500 my hand to signal the bartender. He looked our way. alertly but 153 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:17,670 then I dropped my hand and shook my head. I think two is enough. 154 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:23,130 Yeah, that should do. I squinted at him but let it go. It didn't 155 00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:27,270 matter. I wasn't even sure you'd come. I wanted to ask you a 156 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:31,440 favor. I'm done. I'm finished haunting. I wanted to tell you 157 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,400 that and asked you to leave me alone. I'm retiring. Yuen. 158 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,800 Bernard put his hand on my shoulder. Well, then, Son, your 159 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,300 luck, because I've already done you a favor. I stopped in here 160 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,760 earlier and persuaded our bartender to here to spike her 161 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,240 drinks. In about five minutes. You're gonna be too dizzy to 162 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:55,170 stand up. By the time we get to the car. You'll be out on your 163 00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:58,440 feet. And by the time I cut your throat and leave you in the 164 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:03,240 woods, you won't feel a thing. Already he was helping keep me 165 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,650 up right? Don't worry. I'll cover your drinks. You can pay 166 00:12:07,650 --> 00:12:11,190 me back later. I tried to keep my eyes focus as the bartender 167 00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:16,320 swam into view. Here you go. Bernard said to him handing over 168 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:21,270 a bill Keep the change. Looking at him. Bernard did not notice 169 00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:25,320 my face as I caught the eye of the bartender. The man who had 170 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,220 recruited me days ago to play my part. The man who had laced 171 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,880 Bernards fruity drinks the silver salts, the man whose name 172 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:37,860 unlike mine really was Santos. My tongue was too thick to 173 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:42,780 speak. Too bad. Although I'd lied about being Santos, I 174 00:12:42,780 --> 00:12:46,800 hadn't lied about my wife. I wanted to tell the bastard I had 175 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,410 already paid him back everything that was owed. 176 00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:57,450 I'd like to thank our senior producer Jay Wolf and producer 177 00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,240 Andy Holman for their continued support. If you'd like to 178 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,460 support the show, monetarily, please visit meters 179 00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:06,600 pod.com/donation We have a monthly support option as well 180 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:11,100 as one offs. We also accept Bitcoin. Here's the promo for 181 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,420 the melting podcast. 182 00:13:14,159 --> 00:13:18,929 Correct. To plot points into a large mixing bowl, add one cup 183 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:24,329 oil of protagonist. Add a few drops of dialogue. Sift in three 184 00:13:24,329 --> 00:13:29,039 tablespoons of antagonists, mints a few action scenes and 185 00:13:29,039 --> 00:13:33,209 make sure fully incorporated. Sprinkle liberally with minor 186 00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:40,199 characters. Stir vigorously, drizzle in warm buttery calm or 187 00:13:40,229 --> 00:13:46,259 into a nine by 13. Notebook. Fake at 325 degrees. Done. 188 00:13:46,949 --> 00:13:50,909 writings as easy as cooking, right? Yeah, right. Writing is 189 00:13:50,909 --> 00:13:54,929 not easy, and you need a break. But if you're taking a break, 190 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,989 and you're not up for cooking either. Come hang out in the 191 00:13:57,989 --> 00:14:02,519 disaster kitchen of the melting podcast, the melting podcast, a 192 00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:05,399 writing variety show featuring a little of everything from 193 00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:10,379 everyone everywhere. micro stories, interviews, flash 194 00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:13,379 fiction stories back to back based on the same writing 195 00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:18,179 prompt. And most importantly, bad food puns. Because food 196 00:14:18,179 --> 00:14:21,599 makes everything better right? Come Dine at the melting 197 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,089 podcast.com Right 198 00:14:33,659 --> 00:14:37,079 the music comes to us courtesy of odd Sprite. You can check out 199 00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:41,729 their work at odd sprite.com midis pod is released under a 200 00:14:41,729 --> 00:14:44,549 Creative Commons Attribution non commercial no derivatives 201 00:14:44,549 --> 00:14:47,309 license. That means you can share it all you like just don't 202 00:14:47,309 --> 00:14:50,459 change it or sell it. We'll see you next time folks.