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Hello and welcome to meters pod
Episode Five. I've got some

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exciting news. We are now
featured on Stitcher Radio. We

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have also received our very
first monetary donation. I'd

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00:00:15,959 --> 00:00:19,859
like to thank Andy Holman for
his donation. Andy every penny

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helps and I certainly appreciate
you helping us keep the show

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going. And he has also submitted
a work that will be featured on

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an upcoming episode. And now a
word from our sponsors. Just

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kidding. I don't like ad
supported podcasts. And I want

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to keep this one ad free
forever. So swing by meters

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00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,189
pod.com and click the donation
link for ways you can help me

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this pod continue functioning
distraction free, just like Andy

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did. I also want to mention that
I was recently featured on the

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comatose podcast, so if you
can't get enough of my amazing

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voice, you can check them out
over comm pod.com link in the

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00:00:55,289 --> 00:01:00,059
show notes. I was on episode 24
explaining why I left my job and

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started Mitas pod. One more
thing before the story. I've

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been listening to The Once and
Future nerd podcast. It is

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fantastic. I went back to
Episode one so I can listen to

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it from the very beginning. It's
a serialized story with very

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high production values. I'm
really enjoying listening to it.

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You can check it out over at
once and future nerd.com Our

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story for this episode coming to
us from Brian K low dead guy

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walking was originally published
in palace of reason in 2003.

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Like Bobby In the story, or
maybe not. The magazine is dead

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but the story lives on. Brian
has had published stories and

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Orson Scott Card's intergalactic
medicine show, daily science

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fiction, Buzzy mag and more.
Check out his work The Invisible

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city, a swashbuckling adventure
of Earth's distant future

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available now on amazon.com and
swing by his blog Brian K.

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low.wordpress.com, which is
linked in the show notes. I'll

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be narrating this story result
from Billy Kingsley, Lauren

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Burwell and Elijah Bob Moore.
Billy Kingsley is an upcoming

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voiceover artist from Middle
Tennessee. He has a wide variety

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and range of voices and is eager
to turn his dream job of choice

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acting into a reality. visit his
website Billy kingsley.com Or

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follow him on Twitter at
Kingsley voices. Lauren Burwell

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has been dabbling in voiceover
and narration work over the last

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two years. You can find more of
Lauren borewells narration work

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at her Librivox link in the show
notes. Elijah Bob Moore is an

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actor based out of Durham, North
Carolina, who were not preparing

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for the inevitable zombie
apocalypse can be found at

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parties trying to convince women
he's actually Clark Duke. He co

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runs a YouTube channel for Video
Commentary called the gamer is

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uncreative and can be found at
youtube.com/the Gamers

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uncreative I know this guy
personally, and he does look

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like Clark Duke. Without further
ado, here's our story. dead guy

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walking by Brian K Lo. Ba Bob
knew he must be dead when he saw

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that he hid and spilled the
detergent. Anybody who just

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taken a fall down the basement
stairs the way he had, couldn't

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possibly survive without
spilling any of the Detergent

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Powder fill in the plastic cup
perch to top on his overflow and

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laundry basket.

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Therefore,

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he thought with an ever more
clarity of mind, Amorth be dead.

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If it hadn't been for the
detergent, Bobby would have

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simply chalked up his survival
to one of those miraculous

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physical feats we sometimes
accomplish in moments of dire

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emergency. Like lifting a car
jumping out of a burning

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building despite a deathly fear
of heights. Bobby thought he

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remembered flying down the
stairs in a running leap,

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catching the edges of the steps
as he hurtled down towards the

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ground. But to do all that, and
not spilling anything

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impossible. No living human
being could do that. So he must

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be dead. Bobby debated with
himself for a moment as to the

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disposition of the laundry. He
had been on his way to deposit

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in the washing machine when he
took his ball.

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On the one hand, if I don't put
it in, Lynda will kill me. On

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the other hand, I'm not sure
that matters anymore. Still, if

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I put the laundry in the
machine, I won't have to carry

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it back upstairs.

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Linda could do that. After all
if he was dead. He should be

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entitled to sack out on the
couch and watch some TV. He

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hummed while it loaded the
clothes. He was he had to admit

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handling this whole thing rather
well. Linda was bent over the

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sink, rinsing dishes when he got
back. As usual. She paid no

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attention to his comings and
goings until he stood at her

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elbow rocking back and forth on
his heels. You want something?

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She asked shortly? No, he
replied offhandedly. He paused

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to bring out the full drama This
situation.

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I just thought you ought to know
that while I was taken out the

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laundry, I fell down the stairs.

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Did you spill my clothes?

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Nope. Didn't even spill the
detergent. Chief round,

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wrinkling her forehead, but did
not pause in her. Renson

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How did you manage that?

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Aren't you gonna ask if I'm all
right?

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How come you didn't spell any
detergent?

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Are you gonna ask if I'm all
right? How come you

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okay? Are you all right? Did you
hurt yourself?

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No. Good. Now I'm dead.

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This time she did stop while she
was doing the forehead wrinkle

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and became very pronounced. You
are? She muttered, really?

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Looking at him for the first
time in several years?

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Well, oh, by I think you are.
God knows you haven't looked.

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This has been a long time.

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Actually. Linda had been wishing
hopen and finally trying to make

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Bobby did for some months now.
But since she was a notoriously

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lousy cook anyway, Bobby had
simply attribute it his

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occasional indigestion to
Linda's normal culinary

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shortcomings.

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Excuse me,

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she said, wiping her hands on a
rag and pushing past him. I've

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got to make phone call. Then she
stopped looking suspiciously

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into his face.

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How long are you planning to
stick around here? I mean, you

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don't have to go to a funeral or
something.

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Bobby stood biting his lip and
his concentration just as he had

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when he was alive. Except that
now it didn't hurt. That's a

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good question. He admitted.

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I don't know. I always thought
that when your dad somebody come

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along and collect here. Maybe
he's held up in traffic.

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Linda frowned. It wasn't
anywhere near rush hour. But

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Bobby was still here. Despite
the fact that with every passing

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moment, she was more and more
convinced that he really was

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dead and out of her life
forever. Nothing to do but make

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the best of it. She headed for
the telephone. Hey, you, Colin.

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Bobby. I asked your mom. Linda
shook her head without answering

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him. faintly. Bobby heard the
other end of the line come

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alive. Hi. Linda queued into the
receiver. The phone whisper

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back.

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It's okay. I can tell Bob is
dead.

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This time the phone exploded.
Now I didn't kill him. Linda

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reassured her. unsane confident
he was an accident.

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Yes, sure. He told me himself.
He stayed right here.

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I'll be glad to tell them
myself. Bobby offered if you

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don't.

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Isn't it wonderful? His wife,
widow now bubbled into the

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phone.

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Now we can get married. Well, of
course. We'll have to wait while

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married.

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Bobby shrieked.

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He can't marry him. You're
married me? Will you please be

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quiet?

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I'm not married to you anymore.
I'm a widow. You said so

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yourself. Now. If you can't be
quiet, go. Go rattle your chains

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or something in the corner. I'm
busy.

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Chains.

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Bobby grumbled morosely.

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She wants me to rattle my
chains. He wandered towards the

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TV. Having gotten the damn
chains, wondering if he had to

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buy ammo.

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Eventually, Linda called the
paramedics.

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Hello now mom want I need
somebody to come out here and

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declare my husband dad.

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But when they arrived Bobby in a
deep soak over Linda's

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infidelity had locked himself in
the bathroom and refused to come

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out. They finally had to leave
but not before Bobby had the

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pleasure of forcing Linda to run
over the neighbors to use their

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bathroom. Bobby, someone knocked
gently on the bathroom door.

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Bobby, its father O'Donnell.
Will you open the door so we can

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talk?

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Bobby flung the door open so
fast. The priest nearly fell

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into the room. Hey, in the

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hell are you?

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How do you do Bobby? I'm father
a Donald from Our Lady of

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Perpetual expiation. Your wife
called me.

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Really? Bobby crane his neck so
that he could shout around the

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priest. Since I'm one year away
Catholic father O'Donnell laid a

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hand on Bobby shoulder just the
way they had taught him at

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seminary.

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Linda asked me to come here to
give you the last rites.

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A little late for that. The
Godfather jerked

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his hand away as Bob is suddenly
came a little too hot to handle.

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Oh, I see. Please excuse me for
a moment.

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After a few moments, Bobby
followed him down the hall to

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the living room, where Linda
stood with a double arm full of

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Windows Vista software. The soft
murmur the priest voice was

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followed by the clear and
familiar trumpeting his wife

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and exorcism aren't those
expansive

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well that way In for an answer
she dumped the software into the

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fireplace and then returned to
the den for more.

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Why don't we just bury him? But
we can't do that. Oh yes we can

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we stick him in a cardboard box
and drop into the ground happens

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every day cardboard. Hey,

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Anna lying down anywhere Linda
turn to notice him for the first

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time and why not? Because I'm
not sleepy.

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The doorbell

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rang and the door flew open.
Linda, you hear? Linda's face

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lit up, Greg. She pushed past
Bobby spinning them lack of

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revolving door.

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Get out of my way You idiot. I
want to see the man I love

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the newcomer six foot three
blonde with a Malibu tan and

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sports connection biceps and
velvet Linda gingerly cast and

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nervous glances at his audience.
Bobby sniffed. The tan was from

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a salon and the hair was from a
doctor. He'd seen the bills on

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Greg's secretary's desk.

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Hi, Bobby. You didn't come into
work today? I'm dead. Yeah,

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heard. Bomber.

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00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:12,510
Linda tried to draw his lips to
hers but he resisted. Mostly.

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You got to come in tomorrow. I
get three days bereavement

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00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:22,349
leave. Let's take a trip to the
mountains. Excuse me, Father

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O'Donnell interrupted. Oh, Linda
untwine herself and lead Greg

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over by the hand.

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00:11:28,559 --> 00:11:32,729
Greg, this is Father. Oh, Donald
father. This is Greg Sanger, my

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00:11:32,729 --> 00:11:36,329
fiancee. Oh, maybe you can marry
Yes,

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00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:39,360
marry you. But this is your
husband. I mean, your ex

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00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:44,220
husband. I mean, it's not even
married yet. I told you.

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00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,989
Bob has sat down on the dog
house and turned his face to the

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sun. He'd built the dog house
with a flat roof so the Sparky

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could set himself there, and it
felt good. He wished he'd taken

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time to do it for himself once
in a while. Well, he said, I

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00:12:06,449 --> 00:12:11,939
guess it's too late. Now Sparky.
Spark has stretched and yawned

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00:12:12,269 --> 00:12:15,089
show in a brace a teeth and
alligator would envy.

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00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:18,420
guess that depends on how you
look at it, boss. I beg

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your pardon, Bobby said
reasonably.

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00:12:21,929 --> 00:12:24,839
But I didn't think dogs could
Tao

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00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:29,040
Barkey gave him a doggy
expression that equated to a

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00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:33,510
shrug at no dead guys could
either. Bobby accepted the boy

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00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:34,590
it was good grace.

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00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:40,590
So I wonder what I'm supposed to
do now. I'm dead. My wife left

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00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:40,950
me.

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00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:42,900
How about your job?

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00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:46,200
Well, she left me for my boss.

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Ballmer. They shared a moment a
companionable silence.

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00:12:52,799 --> 00:12:53,759
Sounds nice.

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00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:56,970
That's not really enough.

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00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,670
Sparky gave him that same look
again.

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00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:04,620
It is for me. I see here all day
soaking up the sun waiting for

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00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:07,380
somebody to take me for a walk.
But you're always off somewhere

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00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:10,350
and the only time she notices me
is when she tells me not to bark

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00:13:10,350 --> 00:13:11,100
at the mailman.

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00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,680
I found the mailbox was in the
front yard.

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00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:17,550
It is I only bark at him when
he's in the bedroom. But all she

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00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:18,780
does is close the drapes.

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00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:23,400
Really? Greg's gonna be
surprised.

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00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,370
So like I was gonna say what
kind of life did you have

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00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:30,240
anyway? Maybe now you'll get out
catch some rays take me for a

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walk.

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Bobby scratched his doll rom a
year.

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Sorry. I guess I was caught up
in a lot of stuff. That doesn't

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really mean anything anymore.

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Did it ever. Without waiting for
an answer. Sparky hopped down

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00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:48,090
and trotted over to the gate.
Bobby walked up to the back

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door. The one Sparky was never
allowed to go through on Linda's

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00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:56,280
edict and held it open. They
tracked mud through the living

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00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:01,170
room. Who let that mud in here.
Linda and Greg were alone.

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00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:04,170
Father O'Donnell haven't
departed for his sanctuary.

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00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,210
Bobby ignored her question.

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00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,590
I just wanted to say goodbye.
Sparky and I are going for a

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00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:11,190
walk.

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00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:15,060
Don't bother to come back. I'm
having the locks changed.

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00:14:15,149 --> 00:14:16,289
Barbie shrugged.

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00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:17,489
Okay.

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00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:20,340
You open the front door and let
spark yell.

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00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:25,379
I don't see how you can be so
damn calm about all this. How do

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00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,599
you know you're not just gonna
fall over in a minute.

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00:14:28,470 --> 00:14:30,660
So how's that different from any
other day?

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00:14:31,229 --> 00:14:33,239
Sparky wagged his tail in
approval.

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00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:38,280
Oh, by the way, Sparky says hi
to the mailman.

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00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,369
What do you mean dogs can't
talk?

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00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:43,170
Neither can dad guys.

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00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:47,790
He looked straight at Greg
pointed his finger like a gun

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00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:53,790
and said later dude. Greg's
voice trailed after them. What

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00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:54,900
did he mean about the mailman?

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00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:06,240
meatus pod is completely
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00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,390
want to avoid ever having ads on
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257
00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:12,330
with monetary donation by
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258
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:16,830
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earlier, every penny helps. If

259
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,530
you want to help us out but have
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260
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and tell folks about us. Leave
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261
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:27,600
us share us around all of your
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262
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,810
doing the show and I wanted to
continue for a long long time.

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00:15:31,650 --> 00:15:34,560
Thanks for stopping in. Meet us
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